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When my mother-in-law was first diagnosed with breast cancer it was difficult to know what to say and do - and I know the rest of the family felt the same!
Whilst I was dealing with my own emotions - I felt I had to keep them at bay in order to be supportive of her. But I still wasn't sure what I could do...
In the end I learnt that listening was the most important thing - and not to avoid the subject. It was better to have everything out on the table and to ask questions and just help her in any way I could. She was a very strong woman and I think she dealt with it better than anyone in the family!
During her treatment we kept in touch to make sure all was ok and gave her as much information as we could find re tips for dealing with treatment etc without toooo much to overwhelm her!
I think the most difficult part for her came once the treatment was over and she had the clearance from her medical team. It was at this point she was more lost and others seemed to think -"well she is well again so we can get on with things." Whilst this was partly true - having chats with her I soon realised that once treatment was over the realisation of the diagnosis etc really hit her a lot harder. And then when the 12 month check ups come she gets nervous and needs love and support just as much.
So in the end... it really has been about being open for her to talk to me whenever she needs it and to listen for cues about her state of mind about it all. I always make sure I follow up with her when I know she has check ups and she really appreciates that.
I don't think breast cancer is ever really 'gone' from someone's life - so we need to be there not just for diagnosis and treatment - but forever!
I wonder how other people have also dealt with this situation of supporting a loved one? Perhaps you have questions or stories that would help too?
This post was edited by admin at May 3, 2011 10:15:21 AM WATime"The Click Project Coordinator 
Daughter-in-law and niece of breast cancer "thrivers"!
