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• adele12

  

  • 20 posts
  May 9, 2012 9:44:04 PM WATime

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  Well everyone visited Mum, came from near and far. Nothing has changed. I get a phone call from Mum the previous day all anxious about the visitiors, then the next day more phone calls telling me how it went, then I got abused for not answering the phone. Then I got to hear how Dad growled at her for something and it just all went on and on, and on and on and on. Nothing has changed and never will.

  Now I haven't spoken to them for about a week. I am sick of everyone thinking that I am super human, that I am coping and that I can jump as high as they need me to. I am sick of being in Mum and Dads good graces one day then treated like a she-devil the next. I am sick of people ässuming"things.

  I am too mentally ill to deal with anymore... :(

• Glenys

  

  • 162 posts
  May 9, 2012 10:58:21 PM WATime

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  Hi Adele12 - it's great you have kept in touch. This is such a tough road for you right now - and even though we hoped the supports would have eased the situation a little - it isn't easy to reach a comfortable place for everyone and doesn't seem to be getting there for you!
  
  I do really appreciate you have expressed before that you have your own issues to deal with and have taken steps to do so - I do sincerely hope you continue to seek the support you need to get you through at this time. As much as we'd love to solve all problems for our families and loved ones, often we cannot!. As you have said, the attempt to do so can make us "sick" - and guidance from an experienced health professional is often the best way to deal with the situation for everybody. I understand you are receiving assistance with this at the moment.
  
  I have no doubt your mum and dad love you very much and are aware they are eternally in debt to you for all you have done for them. To be in the best of health that you can be (physically and mentally) is the best way forward for everyone, so please take care of yourself at this time!
  
  Lovely to hear from you and please stay in touch.
  Love Glenys, 'Click' Breast Care Nurse xx

  The Click Breast Care Nurse 

• Cynthia

  

  • 124 posts
  May 10, 2012 4:10:49 PM WATime

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  Hi Adele,
  Please get some help from your GP or ring Lifeline for some support and direction re your mental health. As Glenys said you need to keep healthy if you want to be a support for your parents during this sad time. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Cynthia (the Click researcher) xx

  the Click Researcher
  

• adele12

  

  • 20 posts
  May 14, 2012 5:17:13 PM WATime

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  Well finally spoke to Mum and Dad. I actually rang Mum for Mothers Day. Then it all started again...
  
  Dad told me the receptionist at their medical centre is being ridiculous, she told him to bring the prescriptions Mum needed all together. While that is all well and good, they don't run out at the same time. What planet is she from? For goodness sake! Dad doesn't need this and certainly don't. While I can see they are trying to encourage Mum to get out of the house, she can hardly move. Now Dad is having to help Mum get back into bed. They want her to go to them now. I have told them time after time, just how hard it is for all concerned. They only see her for one hour in 24. She still is in alot of pain.
  
  Something is going to give. I take antidepresants and see a counsellor but nothing will stop the deafness and inaction of others - they just aren't listening.
• Glenys

  

  • 162 posts
  May 14, 2012 9:42:27 PM WATime

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  Hi adele12
  
  I guess there are different angles to viewing what is the most logical approach to dealing with a situation. Perhaps the medical centre wanted to 'co-ordinate' all the medication prescriptions so that they can be re-filled together - which would help with lessening visits for separate re-fills.
  Staying active as much as possible for your mum also makes sense - though if she is not able to manage this then she and your father need to state this is too difficult to manage. I do sincerely believe people really do want to help and will listen if the situation is stated clearly to them.
  
  The message that jumps out is that you do seriously need to focus on yourself right now. This is clearly a very difficult time for you, and you must focus on gaining what you need to improve YOUR situation right now. You have stated you are not able to deal with this and need help. Please concentrate on getting this help and hopefully allow yourself to reach a better place for you. Then you will find a way to be able to better manage the situation with your parents. You may also then feel stronger in asking others in the family and around you to help out.
  
  I really hope having the opportunity to express your frustrations in writing on this site helps in some way at this time. Please continue to do so whenever it may help. However if you are finding the supports you have in place are not meeting your needs, please discuss further with your GP and counsellor. The Breast Cancer Clinical Psychology Service (WA) has highly skilled & experienced psychologists that may be able to assist in dealing with this type of situation for no cost - see 'Resources'.
  
  As always, wishing all the very best for you and your family Adele.
  Love Glenys xx
  
  
  

  The Click Breast Care Nurse 

• adele12

  

  • 20 posts
  May 14, 2012 11:22:36 PM WATime

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  Hi Glenys
  Thanks. I can understand the medical centre wanting to be organised, guess their receptionist being horrible to Dad didn't help my mood much.
  
  It does help coming here and ranting. Sorry.
  
  Thanks so much. XO
• Cynthia

  

  • 124 posts
  May 17, 2012 12:23:15 PM WATime

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  hi Adele12,
  You might like to try a blog (see blogs at top of page) and you might remember me suggesting a SWEE - writing for 10-15 minutes each day for 3 consecutive days about your feelings and thoughts on being a carer for your Mum and Dad. It can help both your physical and emotional health to get these thoughts out. stay strong and take care of yourself. Cynthia xx
  

  the Click Researcher