March 26, 2012 2:36:14 PM WATime
Hi Helena, I’m Glenys (Click BCN). I’ve provided some food for thought .. sorry is so long-winded!
It’s amazing that so many women go through very difficult times with breast cancer – the diagnosis, surgery, treatments, possibly more surgery – the shock, fear, anguish and trauma, and yet when this is completed there is an expectation they will just pick up the pieces and carry on with life. In the early days of treatment, help is often available in the form of counselling and support, yet many women don’t seek help at this point, .. many don’t feel a need to and just ‘get on with it’. You may even see someone at the beginning, but then you ‘adjust’ and find ways to manage. Usually the endless appointments and treatments keep you whirling on the ‘merry-go-round’ of the ‘treatment phase’, and you have little time to focus on dealing with the changes this has brought to your life.
Then the merry-go-round slows, the treatments are largely completed, life is supposed to ‘get back to normal’! Yet changes have occurred that mean life is not as it was, and we cannot just pick up from where we left off before. For some people, coming to terms with who we are now, and what our lives involve now, can be the most challenging and confronting phase of dealing with and overcoming any major illness. I was recently involved in a research project looking at this very aspect after treatment for breast cancer – which clearly identified this time as mostly occurring 12 – 48 months after treatment is completed (although may occur anytime!).
Add to this the breakdown of a long-term relationship such as a marriage .. in itself this is a major life trauma. Especially if feelings of low self-esteem, guilt, anger, resentment and regret are involved (very common to any marriage breakdown), particularly if intertwined with unresolved issues relating to the breast cancer experiences.
Two major ‘thumpings’ in a short space of time. Feeling sad for yourself is understandable. Recognising this and acknowledging it is tremendously valuable - as long as it is used as the trigger to get help. Help may be in the form of counselling and/or other avenues to help you identify your place now. Joining a new ‘interest group’ that is entirely about you (action outdoor group, book club, ?? other interest group) may establish new friendships and interests. If body image, sexuality and menopause aspects factor into this, seeking appropriate help can be tremendously beneficial.
Where to start? A counsellor or psychologist would be able to help identify the main underlying aspects, and help with finding solutions. In WA, Breast Cancer Care WA (08 9324 3703) has counsellors and breast care nurses; and the Breast Cancer Clinical Psychology Service provides Clinical Psychologists (08 9224 1629). The Cancer Council (131120) is Australia-wide and can help with contact details for services in your area. These services are often provided at little to no cost. Your GP may also recommend a relationship counsellor or other services.
Would love to hear what others have found useful too.
The Click Breast Care Nurse 
