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• bec81

  

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  February 14, 2012 11:28:00 PM WATime

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  Hi Everyone. I was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and have had some messages with Glenys the breast care nurse. At first I didn't know where to turn but she has really helped with dealing with this. I'm also really hoping to hear from people who are going through (or been through) similar stuff.  

  My story: I'm single, live by myself, work as a physiotherapist and have a boyfriend who works in mining (fly in/out). I found a lump in my left breast about a month ago but wasn't too worried. I thought I was too young for it to be cancer but still thought I'd better check with my GP. She said it was likely to be just a benign lump but sent me for ultrasound anyway. They did a biopsy 'to just check'. My GP phoned me the next day to come in for result - you know I still wasn't worried as I thought she was just being efficient! I went on my own and just wasn't prepared when she said it was a cancer! She managed to get an appointment for me two days later with the surgeon, and he arranged for more tests that show I have cancer in lymph nodes under my armpit as well!! This was last Friday. He told me I need a mastectomy and the lymph nodes removed - booked for 23rd Feb. I'm told it's a grade 3, which is aggressive. He also arranged some more tests to check the rest of my body, which are later this week. I'm told I'll need chemotherapy and maybe radiation after surgery. Whew!! now I've said it all - I think! 

  I really was most worried about telling anyone. I just didn't know how! I did tell my parents after seeing the surgeon - which was SOOO hard as I'm 'their baby!!'. But I'm really worried about telling my boyfriend as we've only been going out 5 months and I'm just terrified about how he'll react! Glenys has given me some advice and I will post my question in the 'Ask the breast care nurse' section and she'll post her response to share with others. It really helped me! 

  I'll tell him when he arrives back from work tomorrow afternoon ... wish me luck!!

  30yo Dx Feb 12, Left mastectomy and axillary clearance Feb. 5cm grade 3 tumour with 15/19 lymph nodes +ve. Hormone & Her2+ve. Chemo fortnightly 8 cycles (4 AC, 4 TH), then radiation & hormone therapy

• Cynthia

  

  • 124 posts
  February 15, 2012 11:05:30 AM WATime

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  Hi Bec,
  All the best with your conversation today. My thoughts are with you and trust all goes well (: Cynthia
  

  the Click Researcher
  

• SueB

  

  • 52 posts
  February 17, 2012 2:51:23 PM WATime

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  Oh gosh Bec its such a double whammy that not only do we have to cope with the news and our own reaction to it, we need to cope with others reactions too. It seems the closer the person is to us the more deeply they feel the shock and fear. I agree with Glenys that you need to give him all the space and time he needs to absorb the news, and then to react. Guys often feel the only way they can help is to 'fix it'. If they can’t fix it they often don’t know what to do. It is nice to be able to tell him that you have heaps and heaps of support - family, friends, neighbours, Breast Care Nurse, and other women you will meet who share your journey. I suspect he will need to know that it isn’t his job to ‘take care of you’. I also live alone Bec and have found my neighbours to be wonderfully supportive in very practical ways; and family to the best of their ability given their emotional shock. You sound like a really resourceful woman Beck and I guess on an important level he knows this. His work schedule could be an absolute blessing for you both. Good luck with it all Bec. I have written up a bit about my coping with chemo that you might be able to relate too. I look forward to hearing how it is going for you. Sue x

  69yr old Mother of 2 adult daughters and I have 6 g/kids. Diagnosed November 2014 with reoccurring BC.  The journey continues..

• trishac

  

  • 6 posts
  February 18, 2012 2:05:27 PM WATime

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  Hi Bec, I hope telling your b/f about your situation went better than you were anticipating. I can imagine how nervous you were, I really hope he took the news as well as he could and will be supportive through your journey ahead. I received my diagnosis just over 12 months ago, and opted to receive them over the phone while I was on holiday interstate. Whilst it wasn't the news I was expecting, I decided to remain positive and just look at how I could best get through whatever would need to be done. I was fortunate not to have had any b/c cells found in my lymph nodes and ended up having a lumpectomy, followed by a course of radiotherapy. I am a single mum with 2 young boys, and actually met someone, who works in the mining industry too, while I was going through my b/c journey. He was incredibly supportive and although he couldn't be with me during any appointments or drive me to/from the hospital for my daily radiotherapy, I found his emotional support via daily ph calls and texts really helped me stay positive and strong. I think it's difficult for men to understand the whole impact of b/c on women, but I really hope he will stand by you and support you the whole way through. I'm sure your friends and family will rally round, and really draw strength from their support. If you ever feel like chatting, feel free to contact me, sometimes it helps chatting to someone who, although hasn't been through the entire same journey, has experienced similarities and has had to deal with fears, anxieties and an emotional journey that only someone with b/c can appreciate and understand. I really wish you the very best of luck with your operation and treatment, stay positive and stay strong xo
  
• bec81

  

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  February 20, 2012 4:13:17 PM WATime

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  Thanks SO much for your responses! I really didn't expect to get so much support just here!! All went pretty well with telling Josh - I've posted in the 'Ask the breast nurse' about how it went. I'm just so relieved he knows and hasn't taken off! Actually he's been really supportive and fantastic, but you're right Sue - he does want to get everything organized for me!! I'm happy to let him too, especially if it makes him feel able to do something to help. Not sure how I'll be when he goes back to work, but at least the surgery is over by then .. and I do have my parents and a couple of friends I've told now .. they are all so supportive too! I love what you said about looking at chemo as "white knights" - somehow much less scary when you look at it like that! Thanks!!
  Wow trishac that must have been so hard hearing by phone! Did you have anyone with you? I am really trying to be positive - really helps talking with people who've also had this. I would just love a chat at some stage - are you free much or working? Does your man still work away? I think that will be challenging for me but you had 2 kids as well!! The phone calls and texts will help I hope.
  Surgery next on list - on Thursday!!
  Again, thanks so much for your wonderfully supportive messages!! xx
  

  30yo Dx Feb 12, Left mastectomy and axillary clearance Feb. 5cm grade 3 tumour with 15/19 lymph nodes +ve. Hormone & Her2+ve. Chemo fortnightly 8 cycles (4 AC, 4 TH), then radiation & hormone therapy

• SueB

  

  • 52 posts
  February 20, 2012 5:26:10 PM WATime

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  Bec, I’m so very glad your boyfriend didn't take off!! Loll and that you have found some practical stuff that he can do with/for you. I will actually miss that in my post surgery life but hope that lulu and the neighbours will be able to sort of fill the hole for a week or two after I get home. I can't remember how long after surgery we can drive but once that occurs I am a happy gal knowing I can 'up n out' any time I please. And I'm glad the white knights may be helpful for you; I found the thought of them and the focus made me SO much calmer at the time. Good luck with the surgery, I hope all goes smoothly. I look forward to hearing more from you after you’re home. X

  69yr old Mother of 2 adult daughters and I have 6 g/kids. Diagnosed November 2014 with reoccurring BC.  The journey continues..

• Cynthia

  

  • 124 posts
  February 21, 2012 9:03:58 AM WATime

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  Thats great Bec. Most men will rise to the challenge and be your white knight in chief as well. Trust everything will go well with your surgery and I hope to talk with you when you feel up to joining a Click Chat or posting here. Take care xo

  the Click Researcher
  

• Glenys

  

  • 162 posts
  February 22, 2012 3:41:56 PM WATime

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  Great you're feeling better supported and prepared for the road ahead Bec. We're all here for you whenever you want to discuss any aspects along the way - and I'm sure there are others who can add their thoughts and ideas too. Thinking of you with all our very best wishes for your surgery tomorrow. Talk soon xx

  The Click Breast Care Nurse 

• bec81

  

  • 4294967295 posts
  February 22, 2012 11:47:30 PM WATime

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  Thanks so much guys!! I don't think I could do this without you - you're all so great! Talk after I get home - all going well!! x

  30yo Dx Feb 12, Left mastectomy and axillary clearance Feb. 5cm grade 3 tumour with 15/19 lymph nodes +ve. Hormone & Her2+ve. Chemo fortnightly 8 cycles (4 AC, 4 TH), then radiation & hormone therapy

• bec81

  

  • 4294967295 posts
  February 29, 2012 2:39:29 PM WATime

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  Hey guys! Well, surgery is done and dusted! Two days in hospital followed by "mum's" own private resortl!! - she insisted I stay with her and dad after surgery so she could "look after me". I feel thoroughly spoiled and pampered and I just might get used to this!! Too many cups of tea though! lol
  Seriously though I am not sure how I feel now the surgery is over. It does make it all more real, yet I still feel like it's happening to someone else and not me!! - like I will wake up and find it was a bad dream - or the movie will be finished and I can get back on with things like before. Did anyone else feel like that? I just don't want to look at the scar yet ..
  Back to surgeon on Friday for results. That does worry me .. but I know I need to have chemotherapy already. It's just if I need radiation too .. and the hormone therapy - I'm getting a handle on some of these terms even though I don't really 'get it all' yet. Will find out soon!
  I see SusanB is having her surgery today! Hoping for all the best Sue and look forward to comparing notes when you're home.
  Don't have net access at mum's - will stay there a few more days to enjoy some more pampering!(she's a good cook!). Josh flew back to work today too - so better not being on my own I think for a bit longer.
  Will get on next chance I get! Love to all. Bec x

  30yo Dx Feb 12, Left mastectomy and axillary clearance Feb. 5cm grade 3 tumour with 15/19 lymph nodes +ve. Hormone & Her2+ve. Chemo fortnightly 8 cycles (4 AC, 4 TH), then radiation & hormone therapy

• trishac

  

  • 6 posts
  February 29, 2012 8:14:28 PM WATime

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  Hi Bec, it's great to hear your surgery went well, have been thinking of you. Enjoy being pampered, you definitely deserve it. It will take time for the reality of the operation to sink in, so give yourself some breathing space to get used to what you've just been through and what you have ahead of you. You know we're all here to support you so I really hope that helps, to know you're not alone and that you're not the only one who's felt like they've been caught up in a bad dream. It's been a whirlwind for you so take time for yourself and rest up, and take each day at a time. Most of all, stay positive and always remember that you are not alone through this. Take care and look forward to hearing how you're going when you're back home. Love Trish xo
  
• SueB

  

  • 52 posts
  March 3, 2012 11:18:31 AM WATime

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  Hello Bec... I am 3 days out from mastectomy and lymph node removal. I am in very little pain, what there is can be managed with panadol; arm movement is good though I expect that may tighten up a bit. Physio has given me a few gentle exercises that are very helpful. My biggest hassle is remembering that I have a couple of drains and to not tie myself up with them when I’m getting in and out of bed. I think its also helpful to not project yourself too far forward in your treatment. I had chemo first and while I went through that I didn’t focus on much else – just staying healthy, and staying calm. Just stay with where you’re at. I have no idea what is ahead for me and I will cope with that if/when it arrives. In the meantime the food is great, and I have internet access via mobile broadband. All is good. Unfortunately I don't have a Mum so I will soak up the pampering here at SJOG as long as they care to dish it out. xxx

  69yr old Mother of 2 adult daughters and I have 6 g/kids. Diagnosed November 2014 with reoccurring BC.  The journey continues..

• bec81

  

  • 4294967295 posts
  March 7, 2012 2:16:00 PM WATime

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  Thanks everyone. I'm home now though will still go back to mum & dad's a bit. Need to get my act together. Been for results and I gather they are not very good - still reeling a bit but determined to be positive! Just wish I understood all this better - not sure what it all means! I've tried looking it all up but that just terrifies me!! I think I'll avoid looking for a while ..
  Thanks Sue for your words, I think I do need to just go slow as I have put myself forward to a very frightening place! I see the Oncologist on Friday to talk about chemo .. I think it will help a bit to know more about the plan - I don't know what type or how often yet. I think I'll take mum with me. Work has been understanding but I don't know if I'll be able to work at all through chemo and that stretches things a bit! More to worry about!
  Josh away until next week - hard just talking on phone. It's all a bit too real now I have come home to my own place!
  I haven't had chance to chat with Glenys - I will send her a message.
  You sound so positive after your surgery Sue - it's given me such a lift! The drains were a nuisance, weren't they lol! So glad when they came out. You're right, I was surprised that I really didn't feel much pain at all - just my arm is a bit stiff but as I am a physio I can only blame myself if I don't do the exercises properly!!
  Thanks Trish & everyone for your support. It all really helps to be able to read them again. I will get focussed again soon. Love Bec x

  30yo Dx Feb 12, Left mastectomy and axillary clearance Feb. 5cm grade 3 tumour with 15/19 lymph nodes +ve. Hormone & Her2+ve. Chemo fortnightly 8 cycles (4 AC, 4 TH), then radiation & hormone therapy

• SueB

  

  • 52 posts
  March 7, 2012 4:41:14 PM WATime

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  Hi Bec, I don’t think you don't need to worry yourself at this point about what 'type' of chemo you will be on. Just get the info on how often you will be receiving it, how long (i.e. hours) will it take (add 1hr for stuffing around) and then all you need to do is turn up. Do we really need to know the mix? I found my iPhone such a wonderful distraction during the process (which is largely boring and lengthy). I have facebook and email on there as well as phone and txt access. I would have taken some of my needlework but they had to use my right hand for the thingmebob that they feed the chemo into and it made it a wee bit awkward to sew. But I reckon I can now text with my toes if necessary! Must agree on how the Physio makes a HUGE difference post surgery. I can't believe how much movement I DO have... no comparison to 2003! Problem is that I am not very disciplined regarding anything that smacks of exercise! However, I know the massive benefits that hanging in there makes with the lymph stuff , and it isn’t forever. I’m so glad to hear you have found it helpful to stay with the "here and now', it doesn't make sense to me to project ourselves too far down the road. Right now just remember to breathe :)

  69yr old Mother of 2 adult daughters and I have 6 g/kids. Diagnosed November 2014 with reoccurring BC.  The journey continues..

• Glenys

  

  • 162 posts
  March 9, 2012 12:10:00 AM WATime

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  Great advice from Sue, Bec! Just take things one step at a time .. and it's good to 'trust' that your team will provide the best treatment for you (if you ever doubted this you can get a second opinion to feel more confident).
  If at all possible, know you are in 'good hands' (as would be the case with any multidisciplinary breast team), and your job is to relax, rest up, do the exercises, eat well and prepare your body and yourself for each new step. xx
  

  The Click Breast Care Nurse 

• bec81

  

  • 4294967295 posts
  March 20, 2012 12:26:51 AM WATime

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  Hi all - just had a trip away before starting the chemo on Wednesday. Lovely and relaxing at a friend's place down south! Walking on the beach just works miracles sometimes!
  Funny how the closer it gets to starting chemo the less scared I am about it. I'm having 4 cycles of AC followed by 4 cycles of TH (??? yeah, am still learning there too). Cycles are every 2 weeks. I'm SO not looking forward to that, but hey, the sooner I start, the sooner I finish. Getting the 'hair' thing sorted - not yet sure about a wig! Maybe a funky hat .. any suggestions??
  Roll on Wednesday .. let's get this happening!
  Thanks again - I feel like I've 'come home' to my own group of friends here and that just makes it all easier - knowing you're there! Love Bec x

  30yo Dx Feb 12, Left mastectomy and axillary clearance Feb. 5cm grade 3 tumour with 15/19 lymph nodes +ve. Hormone & Her2+ve. Chemo fortnightly 8 cycles (4 AC, 4 TH), then radiation & hormone therapy

• SueB

  

  • 52 posts
  March 20, 2012 6:46:20 AM WATime

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  Yes Bec, there certainly is something soothing about sun and surf, and I am so glad to hear you are feeling more relaxed and positive. I believe the less resistance we have toward any treatment the better we traverse it. I went to wig library and got turbans and a wig. The wig I have never worn and the turbans I stopped wearing in public when my hair was just poking through. I found the head coverings were stifling hot during our summer so ceased it all around the house, with my friends, and while out in my front yard - real early! You won't have the heat to contend with so will have more choices. Oh, yes, thought you might like to know that going ‘naked’ in public, especially when wearing a smile, gets the most fabulous positive smiles, and occasionally encouragement, back from absolute strangers. Oh yes, it also gets you preference in Queue’s and the opportunity to haggle some awesome deals! Lol xx

  69yr old Mother of 2 adult daughters and I have 6 g/kids. Diagnosed November 2014 with reoccurring BC.  The journey continues..

• Cynthia

  

  • 124 posts
  March 20, 2012 8:50:16 AM WATime

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  Hi Bec, I am glad to hear you had a tranquil time away from it all, to recharge. Don't forget Sue's white knight theory so when you go on Wednesday you can "sic em" on your cancer cells. xx

  the Click Researcher