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Often when facing a cancer diagnosis, one of the greatest concerns for parents is their children. Do you tell them what is happening? How? What do you tell a 5 year old .. or a teenager? Will they be very frightened? Will they be able to cope? Will it affect their schooling/studies? What will they worry about the most?
In years gone by the most common approach was to "not tell children as it would only scare them". Children are usually able to sense if something is 'going on', and may be even more afraid if they are not told. They may hear 'things' they do not understand and form their own ideas - often far more frightening and misleading than reality. Or they may hear from someone else .. inevitably they will find out one day, and being included from the start often helps them accept and cope better.
Kids are often amazingly resilient in dealing with life situations, but this may depend on a number of factors:
1. How the cancer diagnosis and treatments are explained to them. Using words and terms they do not understand may confuse and frighten them, whereas finding language appropriate to their level of understanding will help.
2. How the parents and others around them seem to be dealing with it. Calm, positive adult behaviour is far more reassuring than anxiety, tension and despair.
3. Any other difficult situations they are already facing that may make them vulnerable, eg bullying, teasing, separation of parents.
4. How supported and loved they feel. Engaging support from other significant adults in their lives (grandparents, aunties & uncles, friends) may help them feel able to express their own concerns more readily.
An excellent booklet titled "When a parent has cancer: how to talk to your kids" has 'age-appropriate' sections and is available to view online: http://www.cancerwa.asn.au/resources/2010-07-13-When-a-parent-has-cancer.pdf or order through the Cancer Council ph: 13 11 20.
Other excellent resources are available to assist with talking to children. Discussing with your breast care nurse, counsellor, psychologist, GP or other support people may help. In WA, Breast Cancer Care WA or Breast Cancer Clinical Psychology Service provide free support and assistance (see 'Resources'). The Cancer Council is available Australia-wide.
This post was edited by Glenys at February 22, 2012 12:53:22 PM WATime"
The Click Breast Care Nurse 
The Click Breast Care Nurse
The Click Breast Care Nurse
