Providing free online community support to people affected by breast cancer

Forums » Supporting People with Breast Cancer

• adele12

  

  • 20 posts
  April 12, 2012 11:01:24 AM WATime

  Report

  Just when I try and help Mum and Dad get help they knock it back. Dad is now cancelling the HACC! He is having problems with they way things are done and when they are coming and what time they are coming. I told him time and time again, speak to the Community Nurse be he just doesn't. This isn't going to help Mum or me. Mum has no one else to talk to, only me and them.

  Social Worker and a Palliative Care Doc are coming all the way from Geraldton to see Mum, I am amazed. I hope that helps.

  Dad isn't well one of his wounds looks like it is infected because he can't stay off the booze long enough to take a good course of antibiotics and looks like he has got the flu. He wants to buy another car (pay it off) so he can make trips to Geraldton for shopping and for Mum to see her old GP which she isn't a GP anymore. I explained this to him, he doesn't seem to think how Mum will go with being moved about.

  Finding it hard to talk to them both as they aren't listening to what I am telling them and I am getting frustrated being at everyone's beck and call. Really wish my brother would step up. I am trying to hang back so they can sort it out for once - this is too hard. I am tired of everyone assuming that I am going to come to the rescue all the time.

  No one seems to be interested if I am ok - I ain't!!!! Wish something was sorted out so I could have some sort of peace of mind that Mum and Dad were going to be ok. I am so tired of all this, at the bottom of the emotional barrel. :(

   

• Bazz

  

  • 7 posts
  April 12, 2012 6:46:03 PM WATime

  Report

  hey , I cant advise you , but i can say that , eventually something will give . we all have parents and believe it or not , they insist on remaining so , and they wont be told . something will give , and unfortunately , you cant make people take help . if they are eligible for HACC then they are seniors ? contact your local GP for advice , or http://www.agedcareaustralia.gov.au/internet/agedcare/publishing.nsf/content/being+assessed-1. please dont think im an expert . Im not . the first thing is to chat to your GP . they are my thoughts only and certainly not this websites views .

  This post was edited by Bazz at April 12, 2012 6:46:03 PM WATime"
• Glenys

  

  • 162 posts
  April 13, 2012 3:20:22 PM WATime

  Report

  Hi Adele
  It really is sounding like the situation is getting overwhelming for you, and ensuring you are taking care of yourself becomes a priority. Please make sure you are getting the support you need to deal with this (even if not possible in every way - at least with the psychological supports for yourself!). Some things you cannot help or change, but finding the strength to handle these difficulties is paramount to getting through.
  
  Have you contacted anyone for counselling for yourself? The places you can access I mentioned earlier are: Breast Cancer Care WA (9324 3703) with Breast Care Nurses and Counsellors; Breast Cancer Clinical Psychology Service (9224 1629) with Specialist Clinical Psychologists; and Cancer Council (131120) with counselling and support services. Sara Graham, the Social Worker and the Palliative Care team would be able to let you know of any other supports around Geraldton (not sure where you are located yourself Adele). You have stated this is all too much - please contact someone for support for YOU! Being at the bottom of your emotional barrel is a very hard place to be, and has detrimental effects on not only yourself but everyone and everything around you! Do you have a partner yourself?, children?, work?? All of this must also be affected by the difficulties you are facing. Please take steps to protect yourself and your life.
  
  I understand the services are in place now with the palliative care team and other services involved. I do hope the visit from the team and social worker has helped.
  
  As we've mentioned before, sometimes the hardest part is accepting you cannot always change what is happening around you and make it better, even when this seems like it should happen if others (your mum, dad, brother) would only do what seems logical in the circumstances. There are several booklets you may find useful - per links below. Although not every aspect in these booklets directly relates to your situation, there are sections that do.
  
  http://www.cancerwa.asn.au/resources/2012-01-31-Caring-for-Someone-with-Cancer-booklet.pdf
  
  http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping/When-Someone-You-Love-Has-Advanced-Cancer.pdf
  
  Our thoughts and hearts go out to you Adele. Please update on how things are going - you can also start a blog as a way to 'get it all down' - which is therapeutic too.
  Love Glenys xx

  The Click Breast Care Nurse